Friday, April 17, 2009

Never Had This Response

Steve, Lauren and I went out to lunch at a Chinese restaurant today that we have been to many times before and the waiter came up to us and asked where Lauren was from so I gave the typical response of China without thinking about it because sometimes people will ask if she is from Korea so I just always say China. well, he said " I knew that" real sarcastically. so I said she is from Hubei, China and he said how long has she been here to which I replied 3 years. This is where it got ugly, he said " She is no longer Chinese, she is American, Poor Kid"
HUH ???? what the heck is up with that ? That is the first time in almost 3 years that we have had a negative response from a Chinese person about her adoption. So we ate and left without any more conversation from him but I started thinking " Am I doing enough to keep her Chinese heritage" I don't know that I am , we go to Chinese New Year, we celebrate the Chinese holidays but what else can I do so that Lauren will always remember and be proud of her heritage ?


Lauren's Nana said...

I guess it proves jerks come in all cultures! I think you are doing all you can to preserve Lauren's Chinese culture, she is very aware of where she was born and as you said you keep her involved in other Chinese activities. Don't worry about him.

My word verification word was creepo:). Maybe they met him too:)

Colleen said...

Interesting perspective. I've never encountered that response before either.

I had had hopes of getting Linlee into Chinese dance (there is troupe in Seattle) and perhaps Chinese language lessons, but with her special challenges, I haven't worried about her Chinese-ness so much right now. I'm focusing on raising a happy little girl.

asiangarden said...

hmmm, interesting, have you thought about Chinese school? I wish we had one here, I'd sign my kids up in a heart beat.
That waiter sounded a little like he didn't care for Americans in general lol

Debbie said...

You don't need to worry about a thing. What an A**h*($! I would like to give that man a piece of my mind with his "poor kid" comment. OK, I need to take a chill pill but that really upset me. You just love her and don't worry about the rest. Yes, they had all the heritage in the world while in China but had no one to love them. Which would she rather have? Which has served her better? She'll know China and her heritage but more importantly she knows love which trumps everything else.

Kim, Jeff, Emily and Benjamin said...

You do more than we have done in the last couple years. We did CNY and Autumn Moon Festival the first year home but haven't done anything since. Being in a small town doesn't help. However, I agree with Debbie's post--is she loved? That's most important. And while our girls are Chinese, I don't think there is anyway to deny the fact that they ARE Americans now. My niece, adopted from China at 6 months old is now almost 14, has never attended a CNY, etc. and is a happy, healthy young woman.Don't let his comments bring you down. Sounds like he was rather insensitive.

Patty said...

Oh man! I agree with Lauren's Nana about jerks! So far we have been confronted with only positive comments. I don't know how much more we can do to maintain their Chinese Heritage and still let them adjust to their American Heritage. There isn't that much time in my day to fit everything I would like to do. I would love to get her into Chinese Classes someday.